I remember somewhere in the history of my life someone at sometime threw out this little factoid...
"Men think about sex on average every 3 seconds"
I remember at the time thinking it was an absurd factoid... how would one measure such a thing and I am sure there is a bit of variance between men.
This post however is not to discuss my feelings on the male sex drive, I feel it is more believable than I had at one time thought. That is due primarily to the unusual predisposition I have to ponder food... about every 3 seconds.
It is, no surprise that I decided to study Nutrition... but I would be lying if I said I had fruits and veggies spinning in my head all day long. Food fills my dreams, it is without a doubt one of my first waking thoughts... "what will I make for breakfast?" Yet there are many days when the breakfast menu has strategically been planned out the night before, in which case I awake and go straight to work.
I methodically plan out meals, spend a ridiculous amount of time in the grocery store exploring my options and upon traveling away from home my first thought usually is, "What will we eat, and should I pack a snack?"
After a large meal I often wonder, when will I eat again? will there be leftovers? or what shall I start planning?
It cracks Chuck up
And the most often asked questions in our home are...
"Are you hungry?"
or
"Are you Full?"
I know down to the condiments everything that is my refrigerator and all cupboards at this very moment (Chuck quizzed me once). I even know their locations.
THIS IS NOT PREGNANCY RELATED... I am like this all the time.
Throwing away food to me is sacrilegious, and I will try to find a use for the tiniest teaspoon of any ingredient.
Sometimes I consider myself lucky to not weight 400 pounds. But these are food thoughts, I don't actually eat every three seconds and have developed quite a bit of self control over the years.
Outta Sight Outta Mind
Has had to be my motto. I try not to have a lot of high calorie snacks and other goodies in the house. When they are here I think about them all the time... it's like they call to me from the kitchen. It is for the same reason that I will only allow myself to bake cookies once every month or two.
This is my typical chocolate stash... pretty boring huh. It is for good reason. It allows me to calm the occasional chocolate craving without going nut-zo. I just make a glass of hot cocoa with the unsweetened powder (I add sugar or course), or I will eat a small handful of chocolate chips (sometimes mixed with a spoonful of peanut butter).
You could probably imagine my delight when my husband brought these home the other night, after a day of throwing a pregnant temper tantrum about the computer not working right.
They lasted a few days, until Sunday afternoon when I decided I didn't want to think about the peanut M&M's sitting in the corner cupboard next to the honey any longer! So I polished of the remainder of the bag and felt absolutely sick. I killed that craving and quieted the M&M voices in my head (they serious talk)
"EAT US... come on we are delicious and fun, we will make you happy!"
With the M&M's and the Resse's Cereal gone I thought I was in the clear... until my Grandma and Grandpa came over with an entire Sarah Lee Chocolate Dream pie last night. I had never at this point in my life divulged in such an intoxicatingly delicious piece of chocolate pie. It is heaven... and it is in my fridge right now. I told Chuck we had to find someone to pawn it off to, that we mus'nt eat the rest of it.
Ok.. and here is why I felt the need to write this entire post! I was taking the most delightful nap on the couch when I had this dream. That there was a grown black man crying to his friend about how bad he wanted a piece of this pie. Only in the dream the black man was me, and it turned out I was in a Sarah Lee commercial because the Sarah Lee name flashed across a screen in front of my large black self. I think my being a large black man in the dream was merely to further represent the characteristics of the pie. Big and brown and beautiful... why I was a man I shall never know.
I woke up immediately and ate a piece of pie.
The END.
4 comments:
I once heard the most common question asked on a daily basis is "What's for dinner?" :)
Okay so you pretty much had me laughing this entire post. I can relate to EVERYTHING you wrote about!
Tacy this is Dan, I love how your brain works. You fit right in the Call family.
Funny....
But on a serious note, food is my constant struggle. Necessary and the enemy all at the same time.
And I am a big believer in not in my house...meaning don't even bring that bag o'chips home in the first place.
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