Tuesday, January 29, 2008

You know what drives me nuts....

I rush out of my house at hyper speed in the morning frantically going over my check list as I shut the front door… Key's? Wallet? Books? Lunch? Gloves? Scarf? Hat? Phone? Bus Pass? Watch? Gum? Pen? Etc…. However on more than one occasion I have gotten to work to realize that on my checklist somewhere should have been the question: "When you got out of the shower this morning, DID YOU PUT DEODORANT ON?"

There is something so frightening to me about sitting down at my desk at work to the realization that my armpits are completely unprotected!!!!!
My job does not require any sort of strenuous physical exertions. I sit in a chair and type… sometimes I walk to other people's cubicles, occasionally I have to speed walk away from "Finkle" aka the creepy guy in my office (who just informed me that he is staying here until March 3rd), and at lunch I walk up two flights of stairs. For some reason when I know I don't have deodorant on though I panic sweat… I make myself so nervous that I WILL sweat… that I sweat. A few times I have frantically made the journey through the skyway to Target for an emergency stick of deodorant… you would think I would have to brains to just leave it in my desk… instead I now have four sticks of deodorant on my dresser at home. A lot of good that does me now.

I have high hopes that the deodorant residue on the shirt I am wearing right now will hold me through. This is the point when my mom would inform me that no one will be close enough to me today to smell armpits. However if you have read my previous Post about my armpit smelling quirk you would understand that this is more for my own well being than anything else… my nose is only a short distance from my underarms, and I don't want to be breathing any hint of perspiration, it is really a confidence deflator. I think the old Sure commercials with people afraid to raise their arms is the most true to life and accurate portrayal of how I feel when I forget to put on deodorant.

I honestly don't know if I even really need to wear deodorant or if it is just a security blanket against social ostracism? Perhaps I have Osmophobia which is the fear of odor (also known as osphresiophobia, and bromhidrosiphobia). After I write Posts like this I always want some kind of affirmation that I am not a lunatic and other people have similar anxiety when forgetting something so critical as antiperspirant. Does anyone else have "no deodorant phobia"?

For the record I know that some of you are laughing right now because you are fully aware of my obsession with "Pitties" or the sweat marks that form under people's arms… for your viewing enjoyment I have included this picture of me in the bathroom of the MTC… I had only been there a few moments and I was already sweating up a storm. In this photo I am frantically trying to blow them dry. What you can't see in this picture is Sara Burboch who was holding the camera and laughing hysterically at me.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Who was General Tso and why are we eating his chicken?

Apparently I am not the only person to ever ask this question… but for the sake of filling you all in I did a little research, but first the background. So last the other day I went out to eat at a little Chinese restaurant with David. He ordered the General Tso's chicken and noted that at every Chinese restaurant he eats at it always tastes so different. It makes a person think that perhaps this man's recipe is not being prepared properly and some people perhaps are bringing shame to his time honored chicken dish.
I couldn't help but wonder if General Tso is China's equivalent to Kernel Sanders… perhaps they were old war buddies who decided that the chicken business was where they would find their fortune.
That of course is all speculation… here is what wikipedia has to say about it. "General Tso" is actually Zuo Zontang (Spelled Tso Tsung t'ang), a Qing Dynasty general from Hunan. He served during China's most important civil war, the Taiping Rebellion, in which at least 30 million people died. Rumor has it that his wife cooked this delicious chicken dish with a kick for him after a victorious battle, he liked it so much that he would even have it cooked for his commanding officers as a reward. This quite possibly is not true however considering that Zuo probably never tasted the dish and instead some restaurant owner made up this story as a marketing gimmick to sell more chicken. It is said to have originated somewhere in New York City.

The dish is quite inexpensive to produce, however it is often listed on menus as the "Chef's Specialty" and is charged as a higher price than many other items.
Now here is where it gets really tricky…. This dish is even called by different names as over the country:

General Gau's chicken in Massachusetts and New England
General Tao's and General George's chicken in Canada
General Chow's in New Jersey
General Chicken in Northern California
Governor's Chicken in Illinois Admiral Tso's Chicken in the United States Naval Academy mess hall (reflecting a nautical theme)

It is also known or mispronounced as…
General Tsao's
General Zhou's
General Mac's
General Gao's
General Chou's
General Tzo'a
General To's
General So's
General Joe's
Jordan Chicken

In The Simpsons episode "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love," Montgomery Burns proclaims, "Ah, General Gao, you were a bloodthirsty foe, but your chicken is delectable!"

Monday, January 21, 2008

One Clear Voice

Today as many of you may know it is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and as I was given this day off of work I thought I better pay a tribute to this great man who has served as an inspiration to millions. Last night I listened to his speech and this section of his speech really touched me. I hope that it may inspire something within you.

"I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."*
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring...

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
*Isaiah 40:4-5 (King James Version)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

What was I thinking????

This is one of my favorite pictures of Lindsey. We laughed about this drool shot for weeks... it was just a joke, I mean that is not really her drool. However the people we sent it to didn't know that. Lindsey is having a job interview at my work today!!!!! Good luck L I hope you get it, then we can laugh about stuff all day.

It is currently 5:00 a.m. I have been awake since 4:00 and wondering how I can pass the time before work (I don't have to leave until 7:00). Not only am I really tired, but I'm sick... doesn't my body know any better!!!! For some reason I woke up singing this song by Chuck Berry... how does this stuff get into my head? Mom I'm sure you are laughing right now...this is no joke.

I think perhaps I am just anxious about the next week. I start school on Monday you know. I am only going to have one class... but it has been a long time since I've been to school, over two and a half years to be exact. Plus the U of M campus makes me a little nervous, I mean it's huge. I'm sure I'll get frightfully lost a couple of times in the beginning.
Well... I hope you are all tucked safely in your beds sleeping right now. I wish I was. Doesn't the picture below look like someone set a coffee cup on my forehead and it left a mark... Sara took this picture of me the night before I checked into the MTC, I didn't see that it was on my camera until days later... good times Sara... good times.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Quirky Me

I have felt a little bad sitting here talking about what makes other people in this world strange and creepy. This post is a small list of some of my own oddities, enjoy!

  • I enjoy picking things up with my toes. My hands and fingers work just fine, but sometimes I don't feel the need to bend over, or sometimes I just want to challenge myself… "Can I really pick that up with my foot?"
  • I tell jokes to myself in my head, and then laugh out-loud about them. (I am so funny sometimes!)
  • I have tried to pick my dog up with my mouth by the neck on more than one occasion ( I have still proven to be unsuccessful) Why would I try this you ask...because that's what Momma dogs do silly.
  • Sometimes I leave my security badge from work on my belt even after I go home because it makes me feel important… like I have access somewhere other people do not!
  • I use the word "Ishy" which is similar to "Icky," I have been told that it is not a real word. However I continue to use it quite frequently.
  • I smell everything… even things I KNOW are going to smell bad. In middle school I used to smell the kids armpits who sat next to me in homeroom every morning. In my own defense his deodorant smelled really good. I ran into him once years later and brought it up to him, he let me know that it weirded him out a bit, but didn't know how to tell me to stop. Sorry Josh Lundholm… wherever you are!!!!
  • When I eat popcorn I like to bite off the parts that have the kernel remains first and then savor the part that is just white fluffy goodness.
  • I really enjoy listening to "Jump in the Line" by Harry Belefonte in the mornings when I'm getting ready for work.
  • After every journal entry I have written for the past few years I have signed my name at the end... I think it is getting a litte redundant, I mean I am the only one who writes in it.
  • I like to take naps on in really strange uncomfortable places, because it helps me to not sleep for too long.
  • I am not a fan of Ranch dressing (I'm sorry... I'm sure my dad is dissapointed... He loves ranch!!! It almost feels un-American to not like Ranch dressing).

What are some of the strange things you do... I know most of you have some sort of list?

Monday, January 7, 2008

I'm in Psycho-ville, and Finkle's the Mayor

There is this guy in my office that gives me the willies... big time. The first time I met him I was punching numbers away on the 10-key, when I felt someone looking at me. I lifted my eyes from the computer screen... and YIKES there he was inches away from me. He came over to compliment me on getting a new name plate for my cubicle (ya right buddy nice excuse), and proceeded to try and make small talk with me.
I of course was nice to him, answered his questions, smiled politely and acted interested in what he was saying... the second he left everyone around me started laughing. "What?" I asked. Marty said, "Looks like someone has a new friend." Turns out this guy makes his way around the office each day talking to all the young single women and I had just been added to the list of stop bys. This guy always seems to sneak up on me when I least expect it and talk to me about things that usually inhance my uncomfortable feelings about him. Like the other day he was talking about living at his parents house still and staying up all night partying at the bar with his buddies... now... I still live with my parents, but this guy is almost 40... and he talks to me like he is one of my college friends or something. Often he'll ask me if I was up really late with my friends, or if I had a "wild" weekend. OH he makes me want to PUKE!!!!
Lately when he comes to my desk I act like I am on a very important assignment and don't even have a moment to take my eyes from the computer screen... We all know that I am usually anything but busy, however I don't know what else to do.
Today though he told me that he only has 2 weeks left there.... Wooo Hooo! Then he told me that he plans on spending the next few months sleeping in until 10:00 and sitting in his PJ's watching cartoons and eating cereal till the afternoon, then at night he is going to take classes and go back to school. He said, "And I bet you thought that there was nothing going on up here (pointing to his head)." {Fake Laugh}Ummm actually Sir... I try not to think about you at all... not your brain or anything about you... I really wish you would not stand so close to my cubicle, you are scaring me!!!!!!!

So... Do I just put up with this for two more weeks, or should I say something?

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome

I have never been a cat person, growing up I was thankful that my dad was allergic to them because it meant we never had to own one. My repulsion for them came from a young age when one of my childhood friends had somewhere around 36 cats in her home. I'm not kidding, they had an entire room dedicated to the cages and toys for these felines. The smell in that house was so intense that it made my nose sting to go in there... oh man I just got the chills even thinking about it.

I detest the smell of liter boxes… almost as much as I dislike seeing them tucked in the corners of rooms in people's houses. I recall once on my mission sitting down to a lovely dinner in some one's home. I was about to enjoy another bite of juicy steak when I heard something one never expects to hear at the dinner table. I glanced to my right and sure enough… only feet away from my very seat was the family cat peeing in the liter box which had been strategically placed in the dinning room of all places.

This world is full of crazy cat lovers, and it turns out that there is a good explanation for their feline fascination. Recent studies have found that this irrational behavior in cat owners across the world may not be their fault, but is actually the side effect of a parasite carried by cats that enters the human brain and alters human thinking. The result "Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome." Perhaps you are thinking that I have watched one too many episode of the twilight zone… but this is SERIOUS!!!! This could have serious ramifications if something is not done to stop it.
You HAVE to read this article from the New York Times… I am not joking about this. (Click Here To Read)

I hope none of you have been effected, but just to be safe you might want to check and see that you do now have any of the following symptoms.

You may have Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome if you…
  • Have a litter box near your kitchen
  • Dress up your cats as rock stars

  • Put human like wigs on cats and take pictures of them in seemingly seductive poses

  • Mummified any of your past cats
  • If the cat to person ratio in your apartment is 130:1. You have to watch this video.
  • Feel the need to create this society
  • Are singing along to the Meow Mix song
  • Can understand everything Henrietta Pussycat is saying on Mister Rogers Neighborhood
  • Own the action figure shown at the top of this post

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

My Lucky Number

Eight was a good year for me, I was in 2nd grade... Mr. Hermstead's class. It was the first time in all of elemenatry history that I had class with my best friend Krystal Shonka, we were constantly being seperated for making a scene. It was also the year of my baptism, I remember my little white dress and how my dad and I spent time practicing going under the water. It was that year that I chose my lucky number, and what better one than EIGHT of course. I don't really hold any superstitions about lucky numbers, but I have a feeling this New Year is going to be great... I mean it is 2008!
Last night was the big New Years eve dance, it took a couple of hours to really loosen up and get my hips to move the way that I wanted them to. Once they did though you couldn't stop me out there. I wish I had pictures of all of the friendly faces that were there, but I was too busy rockin out to be snapping photos.
I hope you all had a great New Year and that you have high hopes about what this year will bring. I know I do, as my mom told me the other day in the kitchen "something big is going to happen for you Tacy, I can feel it in my bones."