Thursday, January 3, 2008

Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome

I have never been a cat person, growing up I was thankful that my dad was allergic to them because it meant we never had to own one. My repulsion for them came from a young age when one of my childhood friends had somewhere around 36 cats in her home. I'm not kidding, they had an entire room dedicated to the cages and toys for these felines. The smell in that house was so intense that it made my nose sting to go in there... oh man I just got the chills even thinking about it.

I detest the smell of liter boxes… almost as much as I dislike seeing them tucked in the corners of rooms in people's houses. I recall once on my mission sitting down to a lovely dinner in some one's home. I was about to enjoy another bite of juicy steak when I heard something one never expects to hear at the dinner table. I glanced to my right and sure enough… only feet away from my very seat was the family cat peeing in the liter box which had been strategically placed in the dinning room of all places.

This world is full of crazy cat lovers, and it turns out that there is a good explanation for their feline fascination. Recent studies have found that this irrational behavior in cat owners across the world may not be their fault, but is actually the side effect of a parasite carried by cats that enters the human brain and alters human thinking. The result "Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome." Perhaps you are thinking that I have watched one too many episode of the twilight zone… but this is SERIOUS!!!! This could have serious ramifications if something is not done to stop it.
You HAVE to read this article from the New York Times… I am not joking about this. (Click Here To Read)

I hope none of you have been effected, but just to be safe you might want to check and see that you do now have any of the following symptoms.

You may have Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome if you…
  • Have a litter box near your kitchen
  • Dress up your cats as rock stars

  • Put human like wigs on cats and take pictures of them in seemingly seductive poses

  • Mummified any of your past cats
  • If the cat to person ratio in your apartment is 130:1. You have to watch this video.
  • Feel the need to create this society
  • Are singing along to the Meow Mix song
  • Can understand everything Henrietta Pussycat is saying on Mister Rogers Neighborhood
  • Own the action figure shown at the top of this post


David said...

lol this is awesome. It's like 75% of our conversations in the past month all wrapped up in one little post! What is WRONG with us Tacy?!?

By the way there's words to the Meow Mix song. So when you listen next time you can sing along!

I want chicken
I want liver
Meow Mix Meow Mix
please deliver

Joe said...

Hey buddy,

I think this is about the second time I've responded to this so I hope it gets to you. I'm happy to say I am not a cat person although our family has pretty much always had one so I can't say I hate cats. Anyway, I'm going to go get that meow meow song out of my head now since it's been stuck there all day!

UrbanPony said...

My favorite cat lives with another family! I like cats but don't want one as I live alone and why leave a cat all alone while I am at work or having some fun outside the home? So Brooklyn lives with someone else and I see her just about everyday. She greets me every morning at the door, demands that I open the shades in the office and loves to play 'fetch'!!

Amy & James said...

That's hilarious!! I have to say--I pray my kids never ask for a cat because that's one pet I just can't do. I've never liked them, and I never want to be a victim of the crazy cat lady syndrome! :)

Sara said...

Eewww, Tacy! That cat video is going to give me nightmares, for real!! Gross! :)

Annie said...

I found your post through a search for "crazy cat lady" to learn how to deal with one in our neighborhood who prowls around, trespassing and leaving cat food on our porches at 3am. Something even more frightening: I'm a retired speech therapist who delivered therapy to children in their homes: nearly every child on our caseloads who was on the autism spectrum had a cat in the home.