I have been having extreme spurts of energy this last week. My mom says she thinks that's a sign that I will have the baby this week. We'll see about that. There are not many loose ends to tie up. The nursery is all set up, I have a gigantic front zip moo-moo to wear at the hospital packed in my bag. I bought snacks for Chuck, and stocked the cupboards. I deep cleaned the car, including scrubbing all the floor mats with Oxy clean until they sparkled, I installed the car seat (which only took my about 6 tries) and will spend the majority of the day cleaning the crevices of this place with a toothbrush.
Interesting to think there will be a new person living here. I remember before I got married wondering if it would be odd to have the incredibly handsome Charles Call with me each and everyday. It was never odd though, in fact it felt so natural like that was how it has always been and should be forevermore.
I am thinking that is how adding this new baby to the family will be... I am sure I will stop and stare at her often and think, I can't believe I had a baby! but she will no doubt fit right in as if she had always been here.
I continue to read books to prepare for motherhood... right now I am devouring Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. She has done some pretty revolutionary work in the realm of Midwifery and has really great advice. She also has a guide to childbirth, but it is a popular item in the St. Paul public library system and I have been on the waiting list for over two weeks now.
I like sitting in the nursery reading on my big blue birthing ball. I will stare at the crib and think about there being a tiny person nestled in it and not just a stuffed monkey. I was thinking back the other day to being a little girl and loving to play house... it was my instinctive desire to be a mommy. When you are little that game never seems to get old, and was always so much fun. Funny how people grow up and look at motherhood like a huge burden, that is stressful and can be very overwhelming. I wonder if I will be able to think of it as a game still (only I wont color on my baby with markers or throw her in the toy box when it's time for dinner).
Someone asked Chuck last night how he was feeling about all of this because this blog pretty much just sums up my feelings and preparations. They asked if he felt ready for the baby to come. He answered that he felt about 90% ready and the other 10% was that element of the unknown. I was glad for this friend asking him that question... I keep having to remind myself that even though Chuck and I are married and with each other day after day that his experience in life is much different than mine. I have to remember to stop and ask him about how things are going in his brain a little more often.
Something good to remember for my kids as well.