I remember somewhere in the history of my life someone at sometime threw out this little factoid...
"Men think about sex on average every 3 seconds"
I remember at the time thinking it was an absurd factoid... how would one measure such a thing and I am sure there is a bit of variance between men.
This post however is not to discuss my feelings on the male sex drive, I feel it is more believable than I had at one time thought. That is due primarily to the unusual predisposition I have to ponder food... about every 3 seconds.
It is, no surprise that I decided to study Nutrition... but I would be lying if I said I had fruits and veggies spinning in my head all day long. Food fills my dreams, it is without a doubt one of my first waking thoughts... "what will I make for breakfast?" Yet there are many days when the breakfast menu has strategically been planned out the night before, in which case I awake and go straight to work.
I methodically plan out meals, spend a ridiculous amount of time in the grocery store exploring my options and upon traveling away from home my first thought usually is, "What will we eat, and should I pack a snack?"
After a large meal I often wonder, when will I eat again? will there be leftovers? or what shall I start planning?
It cracks Chuck up
And the most often asked questions in our home are...
"Are you hungry?"
or
"Are you Full?"
I know down to the condiments everything that is my refrigerator and all cupboards at this very moment (Chuck quizzed me once). I even know their locations.
THIS IS NOT PREGNANCY RELATED... I am like this all the time.
Throwing away food to me is sacrilegious, and I will try to find a use for the tiniest teaspoon of any ingredient.
Sometimes I consider myself lucky to not weight 400 pounds. But these are food thoughts, I don't actually eat every three seconds and have developed quite a bit of self control over the years.
Outta Sight Outta Mind
Has had to be my motto. I try not to have a lot of high calorie snacks and other goodies in the house. When they are here I think about them all the time... it's like they call to me from the kitchen. It is for the same reason that I will only allow myself to bake cookies once every month or two.
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This is my typical chocolate stash... pretty boring huh. It is for good reason. It allows me to calm the occasional chocolate craving without going nut-zo. I just make a glass of hot cocoa with the unsweetened powder (I add sugar or course), or I will eat a small handful of chocolate chips (sometimes mixed with a spoonful of peanut butter).
You could probably imagine my delight when my husband brought these home the other night, after a day of throwing a pregnant temper tantrum about the computer not working right.
They lasted a few days, until Sunday afternoon when I decided I didn't want to think about the peanut M&M's sitting in the corner cupboard next to the honey any longer! So I polished of the remainder of the bag and felt absolutely sick. I killed that craving and quieted the M&M voices in my head (they serious talk)
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"EAT US... come on we are delicious and fun, we will make you happy!"
With the M&M's and the Resse's Cereal gone I thought I was in the clear... until my Grandma and Grandpa came over with an entire Sarah Lee Chocolate Dream pie last night. I had never at this point in my life divulged in such an intoxicatingly delicious piece of chocolate pie. It is heaven... and it is in my fridge right now. I told Chuck we had to find someone to pawn it off to, that we mus'nt eat the rest of it.
Ok.. and here is why I felt the need to write this entire post! I was taking the most delightful nap on the couch when I had this dream. That there was a grown black man crying to his friend about how bad he wanted a piece of this pie. Only in the dream the black man was me, and it turned out I was in a Sarah Lee commercial because the Sarah Lee name flashed across a screen in front of my large black self. I think my being a large black man in the dream was merely to further represent the characteristics of the pie. Big and brown and beautiful... why I was a man I shall never know.
I woke up immediately and ate a piece of pie.
The END.
4 comments:
I once heard the most common question asked on a daily basis is "What's for dinner?" :)
Okay so you pretty much had me laughing this entire post. I can relate to EVERYTHING you wrote about!
Tacy this is Dan, I love how your brain works. You fit right in the Call family.
Funny....
But on a serious note, food is my constant struggle. Necessary and the enemy all at the same time.
And I am a big believer in not in my house...meaning don't even bring that bag o'chips home in the first place.
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